Sunday, August 18, 2013

Summer.

Images of short sleeves and tanned legs, melting ice cream and sweaty brows, camping under the rain and stars fill my head at the mention of that word.




And that sort of thing has been happening.




Not predicted yet not altogether surprising are drought, the sound of Skippy slapping dirt, and my newly single status.





I don't have much to say about the latter--at least not in this informal, impersonal, and easy to misinterpret medium.  Need to know?  Ask, and prepare to be ignored unless you're sitting across from me.

Meanwhile, summer continues her insatiable steamroll and even though the utterance of 'August already?  Ugh!' has been heard repeatedly, I'm trying to focus on today and tomorrow, not what's already over and done.




Getting out with friends has been the big, medium, and small picture, no matter the way in which our time together is spent.







It is not inaccurate to say that I'm relearning to immerse myself into the things I love to do.






With that seemingly small step I keep running across simple questions--ones that I used to have easy answers to.  Distrustful of ease and wanting to delve a bit deeper, I've been asking them from a slightly different slant.  The answers haven't been as predictable as expected.




And that's very, very good.



Questions in the vein of, "What do I demand of myself?"

"My life?"

"My friends?"

"My partner?"

"What do they expect of me?"



Answers like presence, tolerance, patience, the ability to listen.  And to hear.


The understanding that mistakes happen, the expectation that they be analyzed, not repeated.






Externally the ship might seem to be on course.  Internally, I'm at ~half throttle while recalibrating instrumentation.



Onward.